Speaking and the Lost Art of Listening
A.W. Weckeman Nov. 20, 2025
The Bible has much to say about speaking and listening.
“A time…to keep silence, and a time to speak…” (Eccl.3:7)
SPEAKING
“A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!” (Prov.15:23) Right word, rightly spoken at the right time.
“The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable: but the mouth of the wicked speaketh frowardness.” (Prov. 10:32)
“Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope of a fool than of him.” (Prov. 29:20)
“…a fool’s voice is known by multitude of words.” (Eccl.5:3)
“A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” (Prov. 29:11)
“He can never speak well who cannot hold his peace.”
“As a man grows older and wiser, he talks less and says more.”
“The words of a wise man’s mouth are gracious; but the lips of a fool will swallow up himself.” (Eccl.10:12)
“The words of wise men are heard in quiet more than the cry of him that ruleth among fools.” (Eccl. 9:17)
Silence yields wisdom, and it is the “still small voice” that often speaks truth.
“He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit. Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.” (Prov.17:27-28).
“Talking comes by nature; silence by understanding.”
The person who is secure in “the wisdom that is from above” (James 3:17) will not feel the need to constantly speak or be driven by the natural desire to express themselves continually. Learned receptivity to the excellent Spirit within has freed them from the urge to impress; they don’t have to do all the talking… they are much more willing and able to listen. They’re too focused on trying to listen (yield) to the Lord to be constantly speaking. They have discovered the secret “…of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” (1 Peter 3:4)
“Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.” (Prov. 21:23)
LISTENING
“Learn to listen and listen to learn.”
Practice to be a wise listener: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak…” (James 1:19).
In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise” (Prov. 10:19).
“He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit. Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.” (Prov.17:27-28).
Everyone wants to be heard, but very few know how to listen. One of the most frustrating and challenging situations is dealing with someone who loves to talk but doesn’t know how to listen.
People often avoid talking with poor listeners; few things are more irritating than someone who constantly takes over the conversation. When someone goes on and on, we listen with bored indifference, waiting until they finish.
To hold a conversation, you need to know when to let go. Conversation should be give-and-take; consider the definitions of “Dialogue”: 1. talking together; conversation: 2. interchange and discussion… mutual communication.
Learn to be patient and wait for the other person to finish speaking before you take your turn. Resist the urge to interrupt or the tendency to dominate the conversation. The truth is that most people don’t truly listen; they just wait for the other person to finish so they can keep talking. While the other person is talking, they are not hearing; they are too busy formulating their thoughts for the next chance to speak. “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” (Prov. 18:13). For effective communication, conversation must be a give-and-take exchange… not a verbal wrestling match.
Ironically, I have discovered that the key to being heard depends on hearing; simply learning to truly listen. If you want to be heard, learn to be a good listener… listen carefully; when people sense that you are genuinely listening to what they are saying, most of the time they will reciprocate. Listen to discern the person’s feelings, not just words.
To avoid misunderstandings, communicate clearly, honestly, and effectively; learn to listen carefully and attentively; and practice being a good listener.
Truly understanding what needs to be said is one of the most essential rules of communicating. It matters not so much what you say as how the other person understands what you mean. The act of listening is an indispensable skill in all interpersonal relationships.
People should express what they mean, but don’t always know how. Just as silence is more than the absence of sound, listening involves more than understanding words. Observe the nonverbal signals sent out by the speaker. Try to understand both the emotional and intellectual meaning of what is being said. Sometimes, a face communicates as loudly as words; to truly listen, learn to pay attention to body language and tone. Listen to the sound of people’s voices to fully grasp what was meant, rather than just what was spoken.
Listening to another’s heart
Listening is the smallest measure of self-sacrifice that can provide medicine to a hurting heart.
In the early years of my fire department career, one of the men in my company lost his wife to cancer, leaving behind a grief-stricken husband and three children. At the funeral, I wanted to offer some words of comfort to Jack, but I didn’t know what to say…words seemed so inadequate.
While standing at the back of the funeral parlor with a group of other firemen, I noticed Bill, a fellow member of our house, walk up to the front row and sit down next to Jack. Although I couldn’t see their faces, it was clear they were communicating. After about fifteen minutes, Bill put his arm around Jack and gave him a hug.
When Bill returned to the back of the room, I asked him what he had said that made such a positive impact. I’ll never forget his answer: “I didn’t say anything, I just listened.” A conversation should be a two-way street, but it’s important to recognize when to simply listen; sometimes, lending an ear communicates so much more than words. People need each other; together, we’re less lonely. “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” (Prov. 27:17)
“This is the way, walk ye in it…”
More importantly than learning to listen to one another is learning to listen to the Lord. “And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.” (Isa. 30:21) “Be still and know that I am God…” (Ps. 46:10)
Before we can truly listen to one another, we must first learn to listen to the Lord. The ability to truly hear is developed… “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” (Prov. 25:11). A timely word, spoken at the right moment, is as valuable as gold and silver. If we, as followers of Christ, are to share genuine wisdom, it must come from the Lord. True “wisdom that is from above. (James 3:17)
“A quiet life is usually a fragrant life. If we speak less, what we speak will be more powerful. Talkativeness is a point of leakage in one’s spirituality.” Nee